At the beginning of this year, I stop to look back at the previous year. It was a year that Charles Dickens best described with the words,

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct
the other way–in short, the period was so far like
the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities
insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the
superlative degree of comparison only.”

Many things went really well for me, my friends, and my family; but some things in the past year were difficult. It would have been impossible for me to have been sustained through it all with out the help from the Lord. I thank God for all the help He has given to me in the past year.

It was in my daily pursuit of God through Bible study and prayer that gave me the strength for each day, whether it was a good day or a bad day. My mind is saturated with verses from the Bible that helped me through tough times. My challenge to everyone this year is to join me in reading the entire Bible and making prayer a larger part of each day. I have begun another year of reading the Bible cover to cover. This spiritual discipline has blessed (brought peace and joy to) my life. It will bless (bring peace and joy to) anyone who does it.

Not because reading the Bible has been a great source of comfort to me, even though it has; but because God promises us studying (reading, meditating, and filling our minds and hearts with) His words will. God spoke and the universe was created. There is strength and life in the words from God. We would all be wise to read and meditate upon them often. I have no predictions for this new year only the expectation that the Lord will continue to be the source of my strength and comfort. Will you join with me and trust Him to be the source of your strength and comfort, too.

This morning in reading Matthew 5:14-16 (verse of the day) my eyes stopped as I thought about the kind of works God would have me and everyone else do. They are works that can be seen by others that bring more honor and glory to God, not to ourselves. What is your definition of works?

Are they done behind sealed doors in holy and sacred temples? Or are they done out in the dust and thorns of the world? Are your works paused when you exit the holy places? Or do they offer a continuous shine for the world in the shadow of this fallen world? Do they exalt yourself to make you better? Or do they exalt God as acts of worship for Him?

May the work I do and you do in this new year bring light to a world in desperate need for it. May our work also bring honor and glory to our Creator. May all who are not His children obtain an adoption into God’s family this year.

The day began after sunrise with a pancake breakfast. Our family read the end of Bartholomew’s Passage. Our advent candles have nearly burnt themselves out. It was a great story. I will not spoil the end in case you have not read it yet. I would challenge you to read it to your family next year (although you will have start the Sunday after Thanksgiving).

Next our family opened presents (more than were necessary) Thanks to everyone that sent us gifts. We did not keep track of who sent what but Thanks. All these gifts only serve to remind all of us of the greatest gift anyone can receive.

It is the true and best Christmas gift for all. A Messiah. Immanuel. Jesus Christ.

“For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.” –Isaiah 9:6-7

” But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
Though you are little among the thousands of Judah,
Yet out of you shall come forth to Me
The One to be Ruler in Israel,
Whose goings forth are from of old,
From everlasting.”
Therefore He shall give them up,
Until the time that she who is in labor has given birth;
Then the remnant of His brethren
Shall return to the children of Israel.

And He shall stand and feed His flock
In the strength of the LORD,
In the majesty of the name of the LORD His God;
And they shall abide,
For now He shall be great
To the ends of the earth;

And this One shall be peace. ” — Micah 5:2-5

Warning! Emotional Content Follows. I still debate in my mind if I should post this or not, but since I have only about three readers (high estimate) that read my entire entries, it is probably fine. Besides everyone needs to vent a little frustration from time to time.

The world continues to be a lonely place for me. I am not sure how much of my feeling of being alone is self inflicted and how much is not. I recently heard a quotation attributed to the Iron Lady of Britain slamming the notion of consensus or compromise. The highlight of the quotation was that consensus is an idea that no one opposes, but no one believes in. I am generally not a compromising person. I may even be a stubborn person. I might even be wrong in some of the things I believe in. But if I did not believe those things were right, then I would not believe in them in the first place.

My inability to compromise or form consensus does lead to a very lonely position. It is this stubborn streak in me that isolates me from much of the world. Not only the world in general but specifically it isolates me from the mainstream culture of Utah. My stubbornness also separates me from a significant portion of the Christian minority culture I belong too. To state it in more simple language. The Mormon culture of Cache Valley, Utah isolates non-members, especially apostate or former members. The Mormon culture of Utah excludes outsiders and is mostly for its own people. As a former member who no longer believes that the Mormon Church is the only true church nor in any of its distinct beliefs and practices, I have become an outsider to most church members. I have started in many friendly conversations with my Mormon neighbors in Logan. But the tone quickly turns sour when it is revealed that I am not interested in their beliefs or that I am a former member. It is my uncompromising position that Mormonism is NOT Christian that causes the greatest irritation not only to my Mormon neighbors but to some of my Christian friends, as well. This isolates me from the majority culture in Logan, since it is estimated that seventy to eighty percent of the population in Cache Valley is Mormon.

But that does not make a lonely world. I have Christian friends, well I could say that I still have some Christian friends. Some of the people I used to consider friends appear to no longer be friendly toward me. It is a complicated story, but I have recently and voluntarily moved my fellowship from one Christian church in the Cache Valley to another. The details of my leaving are not that friendly. In some ways I would term what happened as a coup d’tat. Perhaps the events were not intentionally meant that way, but the end result was the same. Simply stated, I now regularly attend a different church.

It is said that the value of a tree can not be measured until it’s downed. Its height, its weight, its age or even its affect on the forest can not be calculated until it is no longer in the forest. It is probably most shocking to the felled tree that its importance was not as great as believed. Or the felled tree over-valued itself in the forest. It may be a biased or incorrect calculation but in my absence there appears no loss to the church I left. So I have gained another group of people that ignore my very existence. My world shrinks even smaller.

But even that does not make a lonely world. Then yesterday and after months of guessing and asking for counsel from various friends and family. It was not absolutely confirmed, but as best as can be determined, my youngest child was diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. It was not a surprise; It was even expected; But the words are still hard to swallow. And once again my world shrunk even smaller.

I have no aspirations to become a champion of Autism to the world. I just want to teach my child to become a productive member or contributor to society and interact appropriately with others. I want to teach my child to love the Lord and to love others. My child did not wake this morning any different than any other morning, but the world is a different place today than it was yesterday. Some how it seems a little bigger, a little more divided, a little more out of reach, not only for my child, but also for me. Some call this a grieving process that all go through when dealing with loss, and as nearly as I can tell within that process, if there is such a thing, I am in the lonely stage. The place where for me it is my tiny little world, us, against that gigantic monster out there called them; and it seems that the them side keeps on getting bigger and the us side keeps getting smaller.

I do take comfort in one small fact. As long as, the us side still has the True and Living God on it, how can we fail. And I do believe there will be victory, not only victory for me or even in me helping my child and my family, but ultimate victory for the us side. But also defeat for them. But the battle, the every day grind of life, does not go without wounds or injuries to those that fight. And my mind tells me that the us side is not as small as I think it is, even though it feels like it is.

There are larger forces that also seem to tip the scale to make the other side seem larger, national issues. Issues of unhappy people desiring change because the current system is not working well for them and elected change, not considering that the newly created system may become even worse than the old.

The change being ushered in looks and smells like Socialism. Socialism is shared unhappiness. It is the taking of happiness away from those who are not yet unhappy and changing that happiness into misery and evenly spreading it out to everyone. Happiness can be measured by freedom or hope or money; and socialism takes it away and replaces it with control or emptiness or unfulfilled promises. It is the lack of freedom including the forcing of some individuals to act against their conscience. It is self destructive.

In the end I really don’t care if national health care is passed or not, but one thing that bothers me most about it is that I do not want the value of my actions to produce evil? Translation, I do not want the money I earn and pay for government to act on the behalf of its people to be used for evil purposes. Money from my labor paid for the government intending for it to be the guardian of life and freedom to be spent on death and captivity. Publicly funding abortion has me asking the fundamental question, should I pay my taxes? Or in other words, It forces me to contribute to evil against my will. Obviously I must pay my taxes, even Jesus said, Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, but Caesar can not have what belongs to God–my devotion, my worship–my will; Caesar can have all my money, but not my heart, and if he, metaphorically, attempts to take it, he must cut it from my cold corpse. I am an American citizen, but my primary citizenship is in God’s Kingdom.

I do not mean that the American Government is going to ask me to start worshiping it, but when it limits my freedom to worship according to my conscience within reason, then it has gone to far. I do believe in the separation of church and state, but that separation is aimed at the state staying out of the church in dictating what the church can and can not do. Specifically as it relates to hot-button issues like redefining institutions like marriage, and forcing every to accept the new definition. It demands more than just toleration of aberrant behavior, but silent acceptance. Some things I will not quietly accept.

I may have wander a bit from my original thought, but many things do contribute to me both being alone and feeling alone; some of them I can affect. Some of them I can not. But stubborn as I may be, compromise and consensus are not things I am able to do, well at least with those principles and beliefs that are at the heart of many of these issues. Some separate them into spine and rib issues. Saying that you should only die for one and not the other, but I need all my bones; Bones are the structure of our life, without them we are nothing more than shapeless blobs of flesh; but you (singular for them) can each have your pound of flesh at least until it is all gone. I am going to keep my bones (support system) and my heart (will). By the way my support system is called Biblical Christianity and my will is all ready surrendered to the God and Creator of the Universe.

The lyrics to one of my favorite Christmas songs, O little town of Bethlehem. Merry Christmas!

O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight

For Christ is born of Mary
And gathered all above
While mortals sleep, the angels keep
Their watch of wondering love
O morning stars together
Proclaim the holy birth
And praises sing to God the King
And Peace to men on earth

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of His heaven.
No ear may his His coming,
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him still,
The dear Christ enters in.

O holy Child of Bethlehem
Descend to us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in
Be born to us today
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide with us
Our Lord Emmanuel

“Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.” — 2 Timothy 2:8-10 NIV (Bold added for emphasis)

These are some of the last words of encouragement shared to my by a Christian friend. May God Bless his family and him as they begin a new chapter in their life story.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”– 2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV

Private footnote: Thanks for the “sword” and glimpse into eternal friendship.

Last week I had the opportunity to visit the Holy Land of the Mormon Faith, Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. On Monday evening, I had the honor of visiting the new Art Museum with my parents and two sisters. They are all Mormon. So out of respect for them, I restrained myself from interrupting the tour guide as she explained the different displays. From my eyes the museum is an attempt for Mormons to find some substance to their faith. Their faith is anchored only to a single testimony.

The witness of visitation by God and of receiving new holy scripture. This alleged holy scripture chiseled on Gold Plates, the original source of the Book of Mormon, is nowhere to be found. It is said they were taken back to heaven until the world can handle the remaining sealed portion of its message. One can only image that marvelous day, when an angel from Heaven brings the plates and more written scripture is given to the Mormon saints. Joseph Smith, jr. is the witness. The only person who has supposedly seen God, the Father, and Jesus, and was instructed that no truth could be found on the earth and he needed to restore it. These main pillars of faith for the Mormon are based on the words of a single boy.

The museum tries to anchor the Mormon Faith to reality. There is no disputing that their was a farmhouse where Joseph lived when he was a boy or that the Hill Cummorah even exists. It is also remarkable all the effort and craftsmanship that early believers poured into their faith. But what can not be shown in any photograph or by any physical evidence is the truth of the claims made by the Mormon faith. It is not unlike what some early Christians attempted when visiting the Holy Land. Building large monuments to show where milestones in Jesus’ life took place. His birth, His miracles, His death, His resurrection. There is danger in creating idols or the needing of physical evidence for faith. It is even more dangerous to deceptively advertising these relics as proof of faith. Relics do not prove faith. They may demonstrate the commitment of the believer, but it does not prove the claims.

Later in the week, I returned to Temple Square. I had planned to met up with a small group that was passing out tracts at the North gate of temple square, but I arrived way too early. So as a non-member, infidel, I entered the gates of Mecca to the Holy Sites of the Mormon Faith. The visitor center was to my immediate right so I went in. I wondered around the first floor looking at the lovely paintings of Jesus and climbed the arching walkway up to the giant statue of Christ. It is a magnificent statue.

Next I wandered into the basement where the distinct Mormon story is told. The displays demonstrating the diverging beliefs and world view of the Mormon faith compared to traditional or historic Christianity. The theme was a restored gospel. It was in the middle of these displays when I was approached by two young ladies, Mormon missionaries.

They arrived at the moment I touched the screen to listen to a short narrative about the two witness of Christ. The Bible. The Book of Mormon. I listened and the two missionaries asked me how I felt about what I had heard. I took this as my Que to begin sharing my Christian faith with them. After talking with them for several minutes, I walked toward the next display and sat down. They followed cautiously joining me on a neighboring bench.

Eighty minutes later and at some point of the discussion two more missionaries joined us, they made their final testimonial witnesses and departed. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir was about to begin rehearsal and they wanted to go and listen. So we parted. It is hard to remember everything I asked them about and talked about and heard, but much of our discussion was about truth, discovery of truth, feelings, the bible, the need for modern prophets. One point I remember asking them, “Why do you consider the Latter-Days after Joseph Smith the fullness of times, and not the time when Jesus walked in Galilee?” They assured me that the mission of Christ was important and nothing measured up to the atonement of Christ, but that Joseph weaved all the gospel together. Restoring it to its fullness.

Another moment that I wanted to share was about truth. The discovering of truth is unrelated to warm feelings. Human emotion is fickle. Truth is not. I shared with the missionaries that asking the Lord to confirm the truth of written words by feelings, is backwards. The written words should confirm themselves without tempting God for emotional proof. There is a subjective response for me when I read or discover truth in the bible. I did not ask for the response, it is given, though. My point is that if you are looking for a specific emotional response to measure your spirituality, you will eventually get it.

In the end, the challenge remains to me and to the rest of the world either Joseph was a prophet or he was not? Either the Bible is the word of God, or it is not? Either Joseph was a prophet or the bible is the word of God? Both can not be true. They both exclude that possibility. The only other option is that neither is. For me I have chosen to trust that the Bible is the word of God. That God is able to protect his words. The apostle Peter, recognized by Mormons, Catholics, and Protestants clearly states in his epistle,

“Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; for ‘All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.’ And this word is the good news that was preached to you.” 1 Peter 1:22-25 (ESV)

Another meaning for the name of my web log: from the sermon given by Jonathan Edwards on July 8, 1741.

“The bow of God’s wrath is bent and straining. The arrow is already set on the string, and justice aims it directly at your heart. It is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, an angry God, who is not restrained by any promise or obligation that keeps that arrow from being drunk with your blood. This means that all of you whose hearts have never been changed by the power of the Holy Spirit and who have never been born again and made new creatures, raised from being dead in sin to a new light and life, all of you are in the hands of an angry God.”

I add this quotation because it echoed from my past before my heart was changed by the power of the Holy Spirit. I was in the sights of an angry God. A God that was not angry with me. God loves me. God loved me while I was still a sinner. A God angry with my sinful heart (nature) and with my sins.

Are you still in God’s bow sights? Take the target off your heart, today, and trust in God to create in you a new heart. A heart that desires to please and worship God. Not a wicked heart to please and serve yourself. Ask God to give you a new heart. A pure heart.

An original acrostic poem.

Thanks, be to God,
Holy, Merciful, and Just,
Always showering Your Love upon the world,
No end to Your compassion is found,
Kindness manifest in Your offering,
Son of God, High Priest and Lamb.

Gift, given to appease Your wrath,
Immanuel, humiliated with suffering, pain and death,
Victory cried from the cross,
It is finished.

New life found in the rebirth of fallen man,
Gracefully offered to all, and gratefully treasured by me.

What is the acrostic?
(hint: It is something we all need more of?)

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”–Matthew 6:9-13 (ESV)

[my editorial addition]
My greatest debt is to, you, God for the love, you continue to rain down on me. Lord help me love my neighbor as myself, so I may be counted as one of your disciples. Amen